My new column is up at the WPRI website. It attempts to aid Democrats in their recruitment of potential voters.

In it, I propose an imaginary blind date with a woman who claims she looks like Eva Longoria, but ends up looking like Natalie Portman. It was intended to imply that Portman is a little step below, but still hot.

Naturally, I have already begun receiving criticism from Portman fans, who say she is much preferable to Longoria. I actually conducted a small focus group which put Longoria on top, so I went with that.

So I apologize to all the Queen Amidala fans out there in their basements. I probably agree with you – but I did take a survey, and science is science.