QUIZ: The most entertaining part of the following story is:

A)  The man\’s name is \”Drunkwine;\”

B)  The song in question is Dio\’s \”Holy Diver;\”

C)  The assault took place on one of the most historic nights in our nation\’s history, apparently unbeknownst to the patrons of Emma\’s Bar.

Beaten Over Karaoke Performance

Cops: Wisconsin man battered singer over lousy heavy metal cover

NOVEMBER 12–Meet Kyle Drinkwine. The Wisconsin man, 24, allegedly became so incensed by a lackluster karaoke performance of a heavy metal song that he assaulted the singer and a second man, police charge. According to a River Falls Police Department report, Drinkwine throttled singer James Mischler, 28, and his friend Cyrus Kozub, 29, \”over one\’s ability to sing karaoke.\” Though cops did not specify which song set Drinkwine off last week, Kozub told TSG that Mischler was performing \”Holy Diver,\” the title cut on Dio\’s 1983 debut album (the band is fronted by Ronnie James Dio, the former Black Sabbath lead singer). Following the assaults, police apprehended Drinkwine after a short foot chase. A subsequent Breathalyzer test recorded his blood alcohol content at .169, more than twice the state limit. Drinkwine was booked into the Pierce County Jail on battery and disorderly conduct counts.

Hear \”Holy Diver\” here:

You can clearly see how one would be enraged by a substandard performance of such a classic.