For the story, go here.

In more important news…

In 1993, I dated a girl named Laura briefly. We probably went out three or four times. After each date, we would go back to her parents\’ house and talk to her family, including her sister Maureen, who is a year older. After three dates, it dawned on me: I am dating the wrong sister!

I stopped calling Laura, and obviously, it would have been awkward to immediately ask her older sister out, so I let it drop. We lost touch, and I hadn\’t seen either of them since then…

…Until Saturday night. I was at a wedding where the whole family was congregated. After dinner, Laura started walking over to my table. I straightened up, thinking she was coming to say \”hi.\” Instead, she walked to the guy sitting next to me, and started chatting about the one time they had met a few years ago at a tailgate party. She then left, completely snubbing me. So she remembers a guy she met once, but not a guy she played tonsil hockey with?

I immediately braced for a confrontation. There was no way she was getting away with that. (Needless to say, my wife was less than sympathetic, although she admired my ability to hold grudges). Unfortunately, she and her new husband of less than a month slipped out of the wedding early, foiling my plot to engage her.

After about six 7 and 7\’s, I unveiled my new plot. I had to go talk to Maureen. So I went and told her all about how I wish I had actually dated her 12 years ago and that she was way better than Laura. She seemed flattered, but her husband was less enthusiastic about this display of liquid honesty. Fortunately, I emerged from the wedding reception unscathed, and I didn\’t really look like that much of a jackass compared to the guy going table to table complaining about how bad the halibut was (it was actually Chilean sea bass).

Needless to say, the headache that accompanied me yesterday was not conducive to blogging about the Packers. In fact, some events are just self-explanatory, so I\’ll leave it at that.